Deferred acceptance: science advances

Dean Dad writes on being Cousin Oliver:

I think it was Hegel who said something to the effect that “there is nothing in the essence of an object that does not manifest itself in the series of its appearances.” In other words, over time, what you are will become obvious. The comfort level of the old guard with each other, even with those they can’t stand, derives from familiarity. After many years, it’s possible to read Bob’s outburst as “that’s just Bob being Bob again,” and not to get overly bothered by it. As the new kid, they don’t have a good read on you, and the devil you know beats the devil you don’t. But over time, the newness wears off, the real strengths start to surface, and some folks retire or leave. When the sands of time move, lines drawn in the sand move, too.